Walking on Water

Thank you so much, Laura!

I am so new at this that I didn’t realize that one could get awards on here and had to take a peak at other people’s blogs to understand the proper protocol. My dear friend Laura, (My Quotidian Mysteries), is a brave soul who has just moved to Qatar. Here is what she said:

Jessica is another friend who also recently started a blog (On the Outside of the World), and I'm so glad she did. She's a friend of mine from college, and she's an American Palestinian Christian. Yep. You read that correctly. One thing I love about Jessica is that she slays all stereotypes. She's a teacher at a classical Christian school, and is passionate about Jesus Christ and about her heritage as a Palestinian. She's thoughtful and courageous in discussing politics in the Middle East (or anything else for that matter) and her courageous soul blesses me.

As for being courageous, I will say this: I have been described by those who know me best (namely my mother) as being risk-adverse. I am a saver, an organizer, and a planner. But all of the best things of my life have come from the wild calls of God, and my almost stupefied “yes.”

I think of traveling across the ocean to go to college by myself in the United States. I think of a crazy decision to move to D.C. after college, where I knew almost no one and when I had no money. Then to Johnstown, PA, again, with no job and where I was a complete misfit (was I even sane at this point?) Then there was the decision to teach, (with NO prior experience), to put on two plays (with NO prior experience), even to take some students with me to work in the deepest part of the West Bank (seriously, were those parents sane?) I think, also, of engaging in friendships and discussions with the many people who are either subtly or overtly opposed to my very identity, racially, politically and theologically.

All of these things required me to step out, to commit, to say, “yes” before I knew if I could really do it—no, actually knowing that I couldn’t do it, but that God wanted me to do it anyway. All of these things required me to step out on the water, to actually walk on the water. It seems that as long as I am staring at the face of God and walking toward Him, I am giddy but fine. My stress comes from these moments of panic when I look down and realize that I am walking on water and say to myself, ‘What in the world am I doing? I can’t do this!” and I start to sink.

This is what my life seems to be about: getting out of the boat when Jesus calls, walking on the water, doubting, and then feeling Jesus pull me up and holding me until I can walk again.